Shopping is not something I particularly like to do. And do you want to know what makes it worse? Trying to shop with two kids.
What was I thinking?
I'm an intelligent woman. Why would I think I could actually make it through Target without both children completely flipping out on me?
I thought I did everything right. I breastfed the little man, made my daughter lunch and changed both their diapers. So you'd think they'd give, oh, half an hour to shop for necessities.
But I was wrong. Dead wrong.
I should have seen it coming. Right after we parked, my daughter demanded to walk instead of riding in the cart. Ok. That's fine. But I told her she would have to stay by my side.
"I promise Mama," she said.
She couldn't have bolted fast enough. At first it was just a few feet. And then she started darting around the aisles. I'm sure the other shoppers thought she was cute. I'm sure those with kids understood the situation.
But hollering my daughter's name over and over was one thing. This trip was about to go from bad to worse.
It started as just a whimper. Then a slight fuss and a grunt. But within a few minutes, my little Dylan began crying so hard, I thought he was going to throw up.
So into the cart went Marley and out of the cart came Dylan.
But the crying continued.
"I WANT TO WALK!"
"I WANT TO WALK!"
(where is the damn hair gel aisle? I sure as hell was not going through all of THIS to leave empty-handed.)
So after grabbing half the stuff I was after and waiting in what seemed like the longest check-out line EVER, we leave. Dylan's crying continued of course, but now Marley decided to join in with her best impression of Dylan's crying. Lovely.
The only thing I could do was turn on the Bullfrogs and Butterflies CD. It's a bunch of religious kid songs and by the time the song This Is The Day came on, Marley had stopped "crying" and was singing along and Dylan was finally quiet.